that's what anon said...

2009-07-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

Anon has been vewy quiet lately. Shhhh... he must be hunting wascley wabbits.

more facebook

2009-06-12T13:33:00.000-07:00

Anon

would like to thank the very cute guy who casually let his towel fall from his waist and drag it behind him for three steps as he walked by in the locker room last night. Made me laugh, snicker and smile all at once.

misc from Facebook

2009-06-12T01:14:00.001-07:00

June 9

- is disappointed to realize that no matter what the context, he is still a die-hard, dyed-in-the-wool romantic. There's just no way around it.

- just got iPod shuffle whiplash again: The Devil You Know by Jesus Jones to Ethel Merman's There's No Business Like Show Business! Ow, ow, ow, ow.

- And I just careened from REM's Nightswimming into Blink 182's All the Small Things and rebounded into Adiago for Strings.

June 8

- just freaked himself out by actually knowing the word elucidate

- (from childhood friend) I wanted to post a comment on the photo(s) below but can't . . . what I was gonna say was - um, could you have bigger guns? Um, could you be more handsome? Geesh! (I can hear Terin dry heaving)

June 5

- loves a good personal day, even if he is waiting for a plumber.

June 4

- finds it quite jarring when his iPod on shuffle veers a hard right from Linkin' Park to Enya and then shifts right to Erasure.

- has not had chocolate in four days. And his vision starting to blur. Cold sweats. Difficulty concentrating. Thank God, he still has his meth.

- just went for a walk in the sun. Yes, I do believe you can photosynthesize because my chlorophyll is doing a jig.

- has broken down and had a sugar snack of a square of chocolate. Are heart palpitations a normal reaction?

June 3

- is breaking the carb barrier this week!

June 1

- There may be some opportunities in the Republican Party. They’re still looking for an effective spokesman, and the only person they can find so far is Rush Limbaugh...and he won’t take the job because he doesn’t want to give up his prescription plan. - Katie Couric, ZING!

Squirrel Update

2009-06-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

via Facebook

June 1, 2009

tonight I declared all-out war on the squirrels. A holy war. A jihad rodentia. Me, an Xacto blade, a flat-head screwdriver and a can of Raid. I may not make it, but damned if I won't take a few with me

would gleefully poison the little bastards if I didn't think they would die and rot in my walls just to spite me. Three hours of sleep from continuous squirrel races is a good way to make me buy an uzi.

is nefariously wringing his hands, whispering to himself about the death of Sciurus caroliniensis. Oh may they feel the pain he has.

June 9, 2009 -

wonders if the great Squirrel Intifada may at last be over.

is happy to announce the timely demise of the fluffy-tailed rodent who took up residence in his ceiling. Celebrations will continue throughout the day.

never thought rotting squirrel with maggot compote on toasted drywall could sound so good!

2009-06-08T03:31:00.000-07:00

<--------- New p0ll. Multiple answers ok. If I missed something obvious, let me know and I will add it.

Love, Terin

Lastest Topic - Toilet Paper

2009-06-02T04:39:00.000-07:00

Although those damn squirrels just can't stay out of it

The questions was when installing a new roll of toilet paper. Does it go over or under?

Anon voted "Under" in the Toilet Paper Debate Poll.
(as usual chaos ensued)

Friend #1 at 1:56pm June 1 - under? you can not be serious

Friend #2 at 2:09pm June 1 - WHAT!? Over is the only way to go...

Friend #3 at 2:13pm June 1 - Looks like you have too much free time at work!

Friend #4 at 2:30pm June 1 - How did you get such simple test wrong?

Anon himself at 3:14pm June 1 - Hey you try to fit a sequoia in a bathroom with a TP dispenser in a handy position and have it roll over! Hmph.

Friend #5 at 3:36pm June 1 - what? OVER only. Think of it this way, when it's under, it's hitting the wall everytime it rolls (assuming there is wall) and it's hard to find the end.

Friend # 6 at 3:41pm June 1 - Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer liked Under...Over for Life!

Anon speaks at 3:45pm June 1 - People, people, people. I compare myself to a tree. I write updates about killer rabbits with flamethrowers. And I have squirrels running amok (yes, amok) in my ceiling. You want to have a sane conversation about this?

Friend #7 at 5:23pm June 1 - send that paper tail over red rover. next question...

Anon at 5:29pm June 1 - I am sending squirrels to each and everyone of your houses. Not dead squirrels either. Living, rabid, sharp-clawed, gnawing-toothed squirrels.

Terin at 6:05am June 2 - under is for households with cats, small children and perhaps squirrels that like to unroll it

Feel free to weigh in with your position on this...

Apparently the squirrels are at it again.

2009-06-01T03:57:00.000-07:00

tonight I declared all-out war on the squirrels. A holy war. A jihad rodentia. Me, an Xacto blade, a flat-head screwdriver and a can of Raid. I may not make it, but damned if I won't take a few with me.
(I) would gleefully poison the little bastards if I didn't think they would die and rot in my walls just to spite me. Three hours of sleep from continuous squirrel races is a good way to make me b(u)y an uzi.

Anon is nefariously wringing his hands, whispering to himself about the death of Sciurus caroliniensis. Oh may they feel the pain he has.
-Anon

You could borrow dad's BB gun. Just saying.

What we would like to see from Anon

2009-05-27T04:54:00.000-07:00

Movie Reviews (they are awesome and I BEG for them)
Op-Ed (the boy is smart)
Crazy shit (the boy is crazy smart creative)

Anyone else have any special requests?

Terin (who is all about the peer pressure)

2009-05-26T11:31:00.000-07:00

"Hi there, my master made me this collar so that I may talk--SQUIRREL! Hi there..."

2009-05-23T05:38:00.000-07:00

from facebook:

Anon is glad to have escaped from the Bunnies of Doom. For now. But beware my friends, beware. You have been warned.

Introducing Anon...

2009-05-22T08:17:00.000-07:00

also known as little bro. Sometimes people just do things that must be shared. If it had be confined to email I would have left it alone, but it oozed over into Facebook, so all's fair.

This all started with a stupid email that I forgot to add a CC: Jemez but addressed her in the email anyway and totally threw Anon, Laggin, and Math Geek. That was my fault and I understand why it made no sense what-so-ever.
Everything after that is Anon.

So Anon sends an email to me with the leaked movie poster for "New Moon" and cc:s Laggin and Mathgeek

Anon: Ladies, please pick her up after she swoons.

Terin: Nummy!!!!
Jemez, you see this yet? (Stupidly replying to all and thinking I have cc'd Jemez.

Anon: Jemez? Who's Jemez?

Mathgeek: Confused I am by these emails. (MG has a little Yoda in her)

Anon: And rightly so. It's Terin. She's crazy, you know. Don't worry though, it runs in the family.
Oooo! Bunnies!
Come here, you lil' darlins. Look at those cute little tails and--
DEAR GOD! They have flame throwers, run!!!!

Laggin: Oh dear.

Anon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
They are everywhere. Teeth bared. Beady little pinks eyes, flashing in the glare of the fires
OMIGOD!
THEY HAVE ALLIES!
Dive bombing penguins with napalm water balloons.
Oh, the hu-man-ity.

Mathgeek: I have no response to that.
But on another note, perhaps the reason for my initial confusion is that I am only getting a portion of the story. Now that I look at it, I was not getting anything directly from Anon, only the reply-alls from Terin & Laggin. So, I never saw what it was she might swoon for.
And then Jemez put me over the edge. Although, after that last one, do I really WANT to get anything from Anon? Hmm.
I don't know what's up, perhaps my company's e-mail system was blocking Anon, but now that I e-mailed him, he's gotten through (ack!).

Laggin: Yeah, and then you started him off on one of his ....thingies. It won't stop. All day. (The girl is psychic, or just smart)

Anon: It was ... the pennnnnnnnnguins!
Nefarious, dastardly, snidely beasties!

Mathgeek: Must contact CIS with urgent request to block Anon@mc.com

Anon: Oh lord, there is the smell of singed whiskers every where!

Okay so this is where it slides over into Facebook, where he has 254 friends (254, are you fucking kidding me?) And he posts as his status:

Anon is the only thing standing between humanity and the flamethrower-toting rabbits of doom ready to rain their fuzzy-white hate down upon us all.

Then the chaos ensues:

Friend 1: Is this a video game I don't know about?

Friend 2: okay... you really DO need cake!

Friend 3: I need to come back to blah, blah, blah....you have having visions of rabbits and revelations...

Friend 4: What. The. Fuck.?

Friend 5: Hi!

Anon: The stench of singed whiskers permeated the battle field as he emerged, skin charred in streaks of crisped ulcerations. Around his neck hung a string of rabbits feet. Laughing, he trumpeted forth, "Take that you unlucky vermin!" All the while unawares of the twitching cotton tails moving amongst the hillocks. Their fluffy furiness stained a blood red in the day's dying light.

Friend 2: I think you smoked a rock in the mens room after your noon meeting...

Anon: Nights later, his energy reserves drained by the constant and unending conflagrations of the wily enemy, he rested upon a blistered tor. No longer defiant, he merely existed. The enemy often left him alone at night. Their tell-tale snowy white coats left them easily spotted on clear nights. But this cool summer night was overcast. No stars. No moon... Read More. He knew they were out there, hunting him. So he settled himself down. Waiting for a sign of their presence. Ferocity glinting from their soulless beady red eyes. Or the occasional thump, thump of their hind quarters as they bounded into position. Something to identify these whaskily denizens of hell. Oh how their whiskers must be twitching in crazed delight at his sorry state. Little pink noses crinkling so.

Friend 2: OMG someone get this man some chocolate cake STAT!!!
blistered tor? you are such a drama queen!

Anon: And then there they were. Hundreds of conies, stretched out in all directions for yards and yards.

Friend 6: Wake up people! I mean, think about all the carrots... what exactly do they need such good eyesight for, anyway?!?!

(p.s. you actually used the word 'tor'?)

Terin: (Yeah I egged it on... I am bad that way) Thank you, I needed that. Someone needed to call Nan and tell her to check you out. I love you dude!

Anon: With desperation overtaking him, he steeled himself. Anchoring his spirit to his inner fuddness. They would not take him alive. He would not fall like the rest, carried off to some burrow to be snuggled to death. Better to be charbroiled by their flaming hoses of death. No, he would not go quietly into the night! He would Howl, Rabbits! He would howl!

Ask me why this man (Man? Boy!) doesn't blog or publish. Go ahead ask. Cuz, my answer is I don't know the hell either. And know I don't share my drugs with him. He did this on his own. And still somehow forgot the squirrels, but did remember the vampires. He just didn't know it at the time.

I swear I am starting another blog entitled, "WHAT ANON SAID." He won't blog, I am gonna do it for him.